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“When was the last time you spent time (or money) on something with the sole intention of it helping you become a better father?” I bought Ella’s kitchen cook book I’ve hardly used because my partner’s usually in the driving seat in the kitchen.

So I don’t know, can we expand more on this idea, can I do more?

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Jan 15, 2021Liked by Kevin Maguire

Glad I found this blog in its infancy, and doing my part to help it grow!

I welcomed my first of three children into the world at 25. Surveys routinely show that adults are delaying the onset of parenthood, and that is certainly apparent when I consider my fatherhood network. I’m now 30, and still, none of my male friends have children. A few of them are recently married, or will soon be married. The dads that I know are the husbands of my wife’s (34) friends, my brother-in-law, and my cousin-in-law. All great dads, but no one that I talk to routinely. (Maybe that needs to change!)

It doesn’t help that, as a teacher, most of my colleagues are women. In my cohort, there is a dad (47) who I treat as a sage of parenting, and I can sometimes connect to the moms of the cohort, but again, nothing on a purely peer level.

Oz’s comment struck a chord with me in that I wonder if I am doing more harm than good by taking a sideline approach to fatherhood when compared to my wife.

But all in all, super grateful for this community. Looking forward to the future of the site.

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Jan 14, 2021Liked by Kevin Maguire

Kev - awesome post that really hit home. The number of times that I've given wifey the old "really" look when her phone is buzzing with notifications, but actually it's just proof that she's got conversations going on, and I emphatically don't. It's something that lockdown has really made me aware of, although to be honest I've always been conscious of it and have lazily chalked it up to 'being a bloke'. Which is just bullshit when you think about it.

I think Brits (I can't really speak for any other nationality) still have a residual notion from previous generations of 'the done thing', and men sharing their emotions simply wasn't the done thing. This really needs to change. Mainly for our sanity.

Kev, having discussions about topics like this is what makes this blog so bloody essential. Hats off to you buddy. You're doing good in this world!

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Jan 12, 2021Liked by Kevin Maguire

Thanks for the nudge. Just messaged some friends of mine about this exact thing. I know you were mainly talking about new dads, but I think it's perfect timing for getting in touch with the veterans now homeschool is back on the agenda in the UK.

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Jan 12, 2021Liked by Kevin Maguire

I loved this post! You're very right in the point that men don't open their feelings that much to other male buddies and when you want to start a dad talk to another dad, you hear lots of stuff like "I don't know that, I don't know this, my wife is handling that" bla bla bla and that sort of nonsense.

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