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Dave Walker's avatar

Kevin, thanks for this. It's a great reminder. I always try to keep in mind, and tell my friends who are dads, that the very fact you are worried about not being a good dad is proof you are doing better than most. It's like what the doctors told my wife after our second kid, when she had terrible postpartum depression and worried obsessively about hurting the baby: the fact that you are worried so much about hurting your child means you are not someone who is going to intentionally hurt your child. It doesn't mean you know all the right things to parent perfectly, but it does mean that you are aware of the danger and are trying to prevent it.

Because being a "good dad" is not about following all the right practices or reading the right books and newsletters (whoops!) or never making a mistake. It's first and foremost about attention, about being present and caring about your family. If you care enough to worry you are doing something wrong, you are already giving them the greatest gift they could ever have.

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Hugo Ramirez's avatar

Kevin, this substack just delivers it. I have seen a few other spaces where fathers talk about improving themselves and being good dads [particularly in Portuguese], but almost all of them are video-oriented. Receiving this newsletter is a great boon.

On another note, the pieces of advice you selected were great! I always tell my friends who are expecting their first babies "the first two years are suvival; as they grow, you will be able to relax and enjoy it more".

Finally, Bluey, what a great cartoon! I love the little details - how sometimes Chili and Bandit are just too tired and moan when they have to deal with something, how their house is usually a mess, how the kids are always inventing ways to make things fresh, the interactions with other members of the family [the grandparents giving lots of popsicles, the cousins who have a different upbringing, the single uncle].

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