Weekend Thread: Your Time in The Tunnel
Weekend Thread: Your Time in The Tunnel
Let's talk about the trials and tribulations of raising little kids
Yesterday’s issue on raising kids in The Tunnel really seems to have struck a chord. Here are just a few of the messages from the last 24 hours:
Loved this. As a father with a sick 1-year-old struggling through the week I needed this. "This too shall pass" is something I am constantly reminding myself. Trying to enjoy every minute and finding myself really, really struggling every day.
With two kids aged 4 and 1, this elevates the daily battles and reminds me to cherish every moment right now.
I appreciate you naming all the things I'm currently experiencing, and reminding me to take a beat and appreciate it all. Even if I'm not horizontal. It's all going WAY too fast, and too slow at the same time.
This newsletter struck a chord, thank you. My youngest is turning 5 in a couple of months, and we just got confirmation of his kindergarten registration, and suddenly it's all feeling very real. I don't have babies anymore, I have kids. The baby/toddler stage was tough, and left some scars, but now I'm almost nostalgic about it.
The tunnel! I was out. Now I'm back in. Those bullet points were perfect.
Two weeks into The Tunnel myself with our first. Needed this so much.
The advice really hit home for me. Especially the line about them not giving a hard time, but having a hard time.
This made me laugh and cry and I can so relate to the Tunnel, as a mom with two kids under 4, and I love the empathy line about having a hard time. Plus those tweets were so good. I forwarded it to my husband.
I didn’t have space for everything I wanted to share yesterday, so consider today the newsletter equivalent of a DVD Extra. First up, I've liberated another set of articles about life inside The Tunnel from behind the paywalled archive. Thanks to those who are helping unlock the commons—a reminder that you can still take advantage of this month’s discount on an annual subscription and also get access to our wonderful dad community.
Let’s Talk Tunnel
In the early days of this newsletter, we came together every weekend and talked about an aspect of fatherhood that felt ripe for exploration. Maybe it’s time to get that going again and use this place as a communal space to help each other.
We’re 15,000 dads strong and a community of caring, emotionally intelligent and supportive men. So let’s shout down The Tunnel—whether you’re in there now or out the other side. It couldn’t be simpler: if you have kids under five, ask a question. If you have kids over five, drop a tip or answer someone else. Let’s see what we can uncover this week.
I’ll kick things off by answering a question from my inbox: “I’m curious, why is the end of "The Tunnel" at 5? What shifts at that age?”
That’s it for this week. I have teenage nieces in town and am on the hook to take them to Sephora. Wish me luck.
So, why do things get easier after they're five? There's a load of reasons, and if any dads reading this want to offer their own, please do! But I think the main thing is that parenting becomes a lot less physical. You're lifting them less, running around after them less, spending less your time crawling around on the floor picking up toys. I went deep into this here: https://www.thenewfatherhood.org/p/lets-get-physical
I know this isn't quite the prompt, but I wanted to encourage any dads going through the very beginning stages of the tunnel that it truly does get SO much more rewarding around month 2 into month 3.
We joke that our 11 weeker just had a "factory reset". He's learning so quickly and is so much more interactive and for lack of a better word....fun! If you're in the trenches of the newborn phase, just know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.