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Brian's avatar

Very relatable, but for me the

dancing of yesteryear wasn’t to house music but hardcore. Over the last couple months I’ve found myself out at Deftones, Idles, and Turnstile shows, not quite stage diving myself, but getting close enough for these old bones - and thinking how much I’ve missed the “collective efferfuckitall” of getting kicked in the head while screaming my face off.

Looking forward to the day I can bring my daughters (4 and 6) along for their first mosh.

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Kevin Maguire's avatar

Yea those Idles and Turnstile crowds are no joke. Did you get right in the pit? Exhilarating stuff.

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Brian's avatar

Yes, right in there, for the first time in at least 20 years. Absolute joy - with older joints and less cardiovascular stamina.

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Darby Saxbe's avatar

I love this! What a beautiful post (and now I need to go check out that ad)!

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Creative Parenting Club's avatar

Here in Berlin we are organizing a community called the Kinder Rave where parents can go for a dance during the afternoon with our kids. Sometimes we host events in parks or community spaces, sometimes in clubs that wouldn't otherwise be open at 4pm on a Sunday. Most of the DJs are other parents. Our sound runs the gamut... the only important thing is that it is chosen by the adults.

One of our most cherished beliefs is the importance of staying true to yourself after you have kids. Sometimes it's a night out, others it's bringing your kids along to something you love, and giving them the opportunity to experience it with you.

Thank you for lending a voice to this :-)

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Caleb Finley Bronson's avatar

This year my wife and I had our third baby, and I began to put into words a feeling which had been growing since baby numero uno. I feel like I’m disappearing. I feel like my life happened, and now I am launching the lives of my children. At the same time, it’s fascinating to observe high school and college aged youths talk mostly about themselves and recognize in that what can only described as immaturity. Maturing is the process of becoming selfless, whether that is chosen or otherwise. Great post today, Kevin. Thank you for being present and alive to the transformations of parenthood!

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Marc Typo's avatar

Needed this so badly today.

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Kevin Maguire's avatar

You and me both. Love your newsletter btw, come write something for TNF sometime?

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Marc Typo's avatar

Would love to! Your writing is what inspired me to start. So thank you. Send me any info. DMing you my email now.

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Stephan's avatar

I'm feeling this one. Very eloquently put into words the confusion that I've been feeling when it comes to identity and navigating 40s w kids. Like you, dance culture is still a huge part of mybidentity, even if it doesn't fit as easily as before.

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AJ's avatar

A great piece - really feeling this at the moment. Thanks for the perspective

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Pedro Grillo's avatar

Thanks for that. I advocate for this identity change in a way I had to lose all my hobbies, but you oppened my eyes that maybe completely detach yourself from your past self is not The way.

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Kevin Maguire's avatar

You’ll find yourself fading away like Marty McFly

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C.R. Burgess's avatar

As always, great newsletter. As a recent stat-at-home dad, it’s been a process of hoping to find myself by completely losing myself.

The John Lewis thing drives me up a wall, though. All anxieties can be relieved through purchase, am I right? Even parent-child connection!

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Kevin Maguire's avatar

I mean, welcome to capitalism, I guess?

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