I would dearly love to banish the phrase "that's not fair!" from our house. It's a struggle to avoid romanticizing myself as a child, growing up with nothing, eternally grateful for everything I had. In truth, I was made to be fearful of complaining in ways that I will never inflict on my own children. And I am glad that they get to grow up with more of everything. But the notion that every ice cream cone must be scrutinized for whether it includes precisely the same amount as the sibling's cone is exhausting. I suppose the comparisons and sublimated rivalries never really stop, even in adulthood. Though on the particularly fraught days, one hopes for the mock civility of sublimation.
I have 2 kids w/an 11 year age gap. I was so fearful of jealousy when my son was born. My kid has me for over a decade when her brother was born. I included her in alot of decisions for him while I was pregnant. He's 3yo now and she's 14yo. He gets jealous of her when she comes home because he's had my attention all day and now she comes home to take it away. My fiancee helps me delegate time for both kids. But we found out that their is more jealousy at play...our 10mo dog is jealous of both kids. He uses his large stature to bombard his way into my lap while I'm being affectionate with the kids. It's nice to be this loved by toddlers,teenagers,and animals alike I guess.
I would dearly love to banish the phrase "that's not fair!" from our house. It's a struggle to avoid romanticizing myself as a child, growing up with nothing, eternally grateful for everything I had. In truth, I was made to be fearful of complaining in ways that I will never inflict on my own children. And I am glad that they get to grow up with more of everything. But the notion that every ice cream cone must be scrutinized for whether it includes precisely the same amount as the sibling's cone is exhausting. I suppose the comparisons and sublimated rivalries never really stop, even in adulthood. Though on the particularly fraught days, one hopes for the mock civility of sublimation.
I have 2 kids w/an 11 year age gap. I was so fearful of jealousy when my son was born. My kid has me for over a decade when her brother was born. I included her in alot of decisions for him while I was pregnant. He's 3yo now and she's 14yo. He gets jealous of her when she comes home because he's had my attention all day and now she comes home to take it away. My fiancee helps me delegate time for both kids. But we found out that their is more jealousy at play...our 10mo dog is jealous of both kids. He uses his large stature to bombard his way into my lap while I'm being affectionate with the kids. It's nice to be this loved by toddlers,teenagers,and animals alike I guess.