Wow. You are a great writer. As a psychotherapist, I can't tell you how many times I've heard an adult patient recall sitting on their front steps or looking out a window waiting for the dad who doesn't show. Then I explain how they can be the parent to their inner child - the one still sitting on the front steps feeling disappointed and unloved. You can sit w him and tell him what he needed to hear and never did. You can resist the temptation to change the subject. You don't want to treat him the way others did. You can promise not to ignore him even tho he brings you down. You can be angry w him for the unfairness of it all and grieve what he deserved and didn't get. You *can* heal that child. Until then, he'll be sitting on those steps waiting.
Jun 22, 2023·edited Jun 22, 2023Liked by Kevin Maguire
I cannot recommend this article enough. One of the best articles I've read in a year.
Cut me to the core,...and I have to say I relate far more than I wanted to. Sometimes it angers me, what we have to experience -- because experience often comes at the expense of others. As a father of 13, I try to remind youth that parents are only a rocks throw further down the same path our kids are traveling. We try...seriously try...to yell back to help you steer clear of the potholes we find.
Sadly, many of us -- me include -- fall into those holes.
But I have good kids. Like you, Dec. Who loved me out of the dark places when I couldn't find a handhold. You did good.
Wow. You are a great writer. As a psychotherapist, I can't tell you how many times I've heard an adult patient recall sitting on their front steps or looking out a window waiting for the dad who doesn't show. Then I explain how they can be the parent to their inner child - the one still sitting on the front steps feeling disappointed and unloved. You can sit w him and tell him what he needed to hear and never did. You can resist the temptation to change the subject. You don't want to treat him the way others did. You can promise not to ignore him even tho he brings you down. You can be angry w him for the unfairness of it all and grieve what he deserved and didn't get. You *can* heal that child. Until then, he'll be sitting on those steps waiting.
I cannot recommend this article enough. One of the best articles I've read in a year.
Cut me to the core,...and I have to say I relate far more than I wanted to. Sometimes it angers me, what we have to experience -- because experience often comes at the expense of others. As a father of 13, I try to remind youth that parents are only a rocks throw further down the same path our kids are traveling. We try...seriously try...to yell back to help you steer clear of the potholes we find.
Sadly, many of us -- me include -- fall into those holes.
But I have good kids. Like you, Dec. Who loved me out of the dark places when I couldn't find a handhold. You did good.
Thank you for sharing this.
#loveyourdad #bepatient #youllgetiteventually