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That hit; I ended up writing a heavy poem as a result.

https://joepoulton.substack.com/p/echoes

Through that process I realized I tend to botch most relationships to avoid knowing another person to die by suicide.

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Hey Joe,

I read your poem today as I stood in line at the pharmacy. Thank you for writing it, and for sharing this realization. I feel that. I avoided deep friendships with males for a long time after my best friend took his life. It makes sense, to not want to go there again. I’m curious what may come of your relationships in the future, knowing this.

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Thank you. For reading and for your writing.

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I love everything about this. I am lucky to have a strong man in my life who is a great dad to his kids, and a great stepfather to mine. As a mother of two sons (and a daughter), I can definitely see how important this kind of work is especially for young men trying to become healthy men in this world. Wishing you every success 🙏🏻

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founding

Well done, Sean, in this essay and in your life. Thank you for sharing.

Kevin, thank you for bringing this piece forward, and for the link to the essay on male suicide. Yes, more women and girls and other populations have higher rates of suicidal ideation, but men on the whole are likely to complete suicide much more often. It often goes unsaid, and as a result, results stay the same for some.

I’ll leave you with this: More men will die by suicide this Breast Cancer Awareness month than women will die from breast cancer. We should all applaud the efforts, and donate, and support breast cancer research and treatment, not just this month but throughout the year. We should at the same time rally our wives, sisters, daughter, mothers, aunts, and nieces to similar efforts to eliminate male suicide completions.

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Oct 11·edited Oct 11Author

I love that you're bringing forward these awarenesses, Jeremy. There's a lot of amazing psychedelic research happening around depression (psilocybin and ketamine are proving especially helpful in treatment-resistant depression and PTSD), however because the work is so new, active suicidal 'ideation' is often a disqualifier for psychedelic treatment because it's "risky."

I remember a mother of a man my age who'd taken his own life, speaking at her son's funeral. She said something to the effect of: I loved him so much that I must respect his choice.

That had a big impact on me. Most of the culture's orientation to suicide is 'just stay alive.' And many who choose to stay, like me, are eventually glad for it. But we must respect the choice of those who don't. Suicide should not be a crime.

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Well done. I did not become a father until I was 50, and only after 30 years of life in the Army. My healing has been a priority, and pouring into my four kids has greatly enriched my focus on what being a good man looks like.

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author

I'm so glad to hear that, Fred. I'm sure your kids feel the work you're doing, as well as your community.

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Oct 10Liked by Kevin Maguire, Sean Talbeaux

Amazing and brave piece, Sean. Thank you for sharing. I’m always finding myself writing about generational cycles in parenting, but it’s hard to understate just how great an impact our past experiences can have on our own parenting, and how vital it is for us to address whatever’s happened in our past so we can do it better than what came before us.

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Thanks, Brad. Totally with you on that. I feel like some cycles need to get really big and loud in order to get the love and care they need. Not so unlike kiddos.

Nevertheless, I was one of the lucky ones. I fear that many of the kids I was in homes and hospitals with may not have been so fortunate.

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