In the community last month we got deep into hobbies: the role they play in our lives, the struggle to find time for them after becoming parents, the pressure from “side-hustle culture” to partake in them only in pursuit of financial goals.
We’re so much more than “just” dads here. So this weekend, let’s talk about leisurely pursuits. What are you into? What do you like to do with your spare (ha!) time? What itch does it scratch for you? How are you progressing, or is that not even the point?
Looking forward to nerding out with y’all in the comments, and finding some good Venn overlaps …
My daughter is now around 4 months and the change in hobbies has been one of the biggest struggles for me. There is a ton of info out there about not losing one's self and maintaining a person-parent balance so I won't get into it (I'm sure we all have experienced walking that particular tightrope). But, nonetheless trying to find time for myself has been tough.
With our schedules I've settled on two main things: once a week I play hockey and take a singing lesson. Hockey is great because I can get a workout, have some individual social time, and it's surprisingly easy on my knees. Singing is still kind of new for me. I'm much more vulnerable doing it than playing an instrument but, based on the songs I'm working on any given week, it does give me a nice emotional outlet as well.
I'm looking forward to the days when I can spend more time on video games, board games, or maybe even community theater again.
I came here to write pretty much the same thing. I'm a serial hobbyist and it's an important part of my life. I knew going into parenthood that the loss of time was going to be one of the harder parts for me, and it has been. It didn't help that I've caught so much daycare crud this winter that running, the hobby that keeps me healthy and is easiest to fit into a busy day, has completely fallen by the wayside.
I can tell you from the far side of 9 months (which probably feels ages away to you but will arrive in a flash) that it's slow but it does improve. I'm sleeping better and have a little more energy. Naps are long enough that I can actually tackle a meaningful task with reasonable confidence that he'll stay asleep. Someday soon he'll be able to toddle around and keep himself entertained for short periods while I putter in the garden or whatever. Whenever winter finally goes away, we're going to take our first jog in the jogging stroller.
And, one thing I'm very much looking forward to as he gets older is involving him in some of my hobbies and going along for the journey on whatever hobbies he wants to get into. One of my friends does woodworking with his 5 year old daughter and it melts my heart.
Yeah, I know that feeling Ian. Your instinct is right though. Once they get a little older and you can start sharing hobbies together it can be a really magical bonding experience.
Singing lessons sounds great! Is it one on one? Or part of a group? A good friend of mine is part of a choir and that feeling of a communal coming together and signing your lungs out is very appealing.
I used to be part of a choir but haven't found one since we moved recently. I also try to act in my free time and I've been wanting to try musicals so my lessons have been one on one focusing on Broadway tunes. I'd probably join a choir again if I found one I really liked. It can be a really fun and rewarding experience.
I've gone big on gardening, or more specifically food growing, this year. I've never done it before and have become pretty consumed by the ambition to be partly self-sufficient. I don't know if the local urban wildlife will permit it but we'll see.
I started singing in choirs about 10 years ago and have just gone back to it after a pandemic/childcare singing break. We did our first performance of the year a couple of weeks ago and the sense of achievement + fun was great. As gigs have faded from my life it's nice to have another way to 'physically interact' (??) with music.
I suppose I love doing the online version of crate-digging, as I'm always looking for something new/old to listen to, but while it's amazing you can access all music ever, the fact it's all mediated through a screen somehow makes it feel less joyful. Just me?
(If you'd told 18 year-old me that I would become a gardener and chorister I would have thrown an ashtray at you.)
The music thing is so true—it sometimes feels like a fool's errand to go hunting for new music myself when the algorithms seem to be so much better now. I'm still buying vinyl records, but it tends more to be albums that I've been listening to on Spotify for a while.
I still check AnyDecentMusic and Pitchfork's Best New Music once a month though, just to see what's going on. I'd say I get most of my recommendations from those two places.
Me. Football is generally always been my space, watching it rather than playing it the last 5-10 years. It takes so much time up these days but found a lot of solace in going to a live match though it is a good 4 hours outside of family life. Aside from my family I’m not sure I spend more time doing anything else other than football, reading, watching or tweeting about it.
I started to cycle using a peloton during lockdown, needed to find something that fitted into my life schedule and it’s been great for my mental health now the gym feels a little too far away. I’m a fair weather cyclist outside of peloton, so come sunshine I’ll prob get a cycle in. Just around the area but something about cycling that just is so freeing. Can’t wait to cycle with my son.
Wine. I did a WSET course in it, it’s super easy to pass but you get a basic grounding which is nice. Also something you can practice... and it’s fun.
Reading / audio - mostly on my phone these days, kindle, Substack or every newspaper you can imagine. Just can spend a good few hours, or 10 mins, reading something interesting.
Research. This is an odd one. But I just bloody love researching stuff. Like the other day, I spent maybe every hour across a weekend searching for a back pack, articles, unboxing (bagging?) anything. Same with airbnbs or hotels. Just did the same with eye creams... maybe not a hobby? But I find it quite enjoyable.
A wine course. That’s a great idea. I’m very passionate but somewhat under-informed in this area, so getting that base level of knowledge would be fun.
I actually do want to know more about eye-creams. Have been kicking around some form of a “dad skincare routine” essay for a while, seems like such a taboo subject because it’s so rarely discussed between men!
Well... I have been with Horace, for most stuff for a few years. Because it’s not too crazy cash and does everything. It’s in France but ship quickly to EU. Horace.co.
But I read that vitamin c direct is key for smoother skin. So got some Kiehl’s eye midnight eye cream and a vitamin c day eye cream. The Ordinary caffeine eye serum is also very good and cost effective. The retinol and vitamin c can cause some irritation apparently for a few weeks.
Apparently we should all be using an SPF moisturizer too. Even when it’s not sunny, so I’ve got a Anthony SPF 30 one to test on top of the Horace moisturizer.
After my son was born in 2012 I finally committed to being a writer, rather than saying I was going to be one. I've now written 3 novels and am working on my 4th, which I'm publishing on my Substack week-by-week. Somehow, having less free time after he was born made me MORE productive. Focused the mind, I think. Having a kid I found gave me an unexpected sense of mortality, too, and an impetus to *get on with things*.
Yeah that’s a strange paradox that I’ve felt after the birth of my second. Having no spare time forced me to make some big decisions about what I would and wouldn’t focus my energy on. Incredible work, by the way!
I look back on my student days of having infinite time, and achieving basically nothing, and cringe. :) It is strange how the human brain seems to need constraints in order to work efficiently!
Hobbies? As if. Sleep (or the eternal pursuit of it) seems the only available pastime. As a father of a 4.5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl, there is no time for anything really. Assume this improves
Great topic. Although I haven't gotten to get out there as much over the past few weeks for a variety of reasons, I run and play tennis. Has been weeks since I hit the courts but I usually play once a week and will do again from next week. Running has taken a back seat for the past couple of weeks but again, going to get out into the fresh air later today or tomorrow! It always feels so good within minutes of hitting the tarmac :)
Then, I work on a variety of side projects which are technically work but don't feel like it! In fact, I really enjoy working so it doesn't matter either way. I am the co-founder of a productivity app for groups and individuals, run 5 different content websites, and also do some coaching here and there. Not the usual stuff, but all based around a new / old understanding of how we tick. Hope to do more over the next while, especially with men who we know are slower to look for support.
Also spotted someone mentioning gardening, and while out watering some plants in the cool sunshine earlier I had the idea of planting some seeds in the sunniest part of the garden. So I'm going to look into that :)
Keeping busy! Have started getting more interested in gardening since lockdown, or at least houseplants, which is the best we can manage living in the centre of a city. Loads of great communal gardens around at least.
Right over here! 2 novels down, still querying for representation. Whoever mentioned the fact that less time = more productive is 100 percent on the money.
Apr 10, 2022·edited Apr 10, 2022Liked by Kevin Maguire
Substack and fatherhood have re-ignited the writer in me. I 'quit' a few years ago, wanting to use that creative energy to earn actual money, and here's an opportunity to eventually do both.
I make (mostly very short) tabletop roleplaying games after my four-year-old goes to bed at night. I feel extremely lucky that my she is so excited to playtest them with me. She changes the rules whenever she feels like it, of course, but that's probably valuable design feedback in its own way.
She’s keeping you on your toes! There’s a couple of D&D DMs in the mix here, it’s not something I fell into in my youth but have always seen the appeal.
Is Disney a hobby? We live in Orange County, CA and are Disneyland pass holders. We take our kids as often as time will allow, and it’s safe to say that there’s a Disney core memory (to use Inside Out parlance) in every person in the family!
Inside Out was, is, and will always be one of my favourites. It gave me an my eldest a whole vocabulary to talk about her feelings when she was younger (that we still use today.)
I have been into pop up cards/books for some time, but now im trying to learn more profesional mechanisms. I love creating something unique for special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries). It doesnt take lots of time, but people really love getting them!
My first thought when I read this was, what the hell is a leisurely pursuit? that sounds fantastic!
Much of what I do for fun transforms into work, or maybe how I engage with supposedly fun things so closely resembles work that I don't register the difference. I realize this may be a sign that I take myself altogether far too seriously.
On a deeper level, I resonate with Joshua's perspective on ritual.
Spinning fire has been a meditation/ritual for me for many years. I hesitate to call it a hobby, but it is, quite fun.
As predictable as it is for a middle aged dad, I’ve gotten really into golf. It’s good exercise, I can hang out with friends in the sunshine, be moderately athletic and walk a few miles while doing so.
“A good walk ruined,” wasn’t that the phrase? But I can see the appeal. My golfing experience only extends as far as long nights playing Tiger Woods on the original Xbox.
Lately, I’ve been leaning into cooking. My primary non-child related accomplishment while being on paternity leave has been perfecting a (American) biscuit recipe. I’ve also been into gardening though I’m late getting my seedlings going this year.
Becoming a father has definitely disrupted the hobby situation though I’m starting to put things back together. I’ve been into martial arts and meditation for a long time. Hiking, which we are doing more of as a way to get the baby and dog (and us) out. I used to ride my bike quite a bit around the city here.
I also have a fairly strong DIY tendency that runs through everything. Part of my enjoyment around riding my bike is that I built it. :)
If it's not too obnoxious to share my own newsletter, I wrote about this on Tuesday (https://joshuadolezal.substack.com/p/rituals-as-recovery?s=w), reflecting on the difference between hobbies and rituals. I'm more of a ritual person, and I have a lot of them: bread baking, kombucha, canning (salsa, hot sauce, and more), maple syruping, running, songwriting... I think of a ritual as something that I do habitually and that connects me to others, to a place, or more deeply to myself. But that might be my academic tendency to over-analyze showing itself!
Recently I've started weightlifting (which is really not something I ever thought I'd do, lol) mostly because a friend needed a lifting buddy. I'm not trying to go crazy with it, but I'm four months in and really enjoying the extra energy in my body. I also stay home with my two year-old daughter a couple days a week, so having gym time gives things a nice balance.
Also, I've started reading newsletters on Substack and Ghost, and I feel like the internet is interesting again! I'm really enjoying The New Fatherhood (thanks Kevin, it really does make my day) as well as other smart and thought-provoking sites like Astral Codex Ten (https://astralcodexten.substack.com), Slow Boring (https://www.slowboring.com), and a new favorite, Cold Takes (https://www.cold-takes.com). It's like squats for the mind ;).
Squats for the brain and squats for the glutes. Great combination. And thanks for the kind words.
Weightlifting feels like something I'd get very into if I got started.
I can suggest a combination of your two interests—a Substack for weightlifters! It's female focused but Casey is a fantastic writer and I've really loved some of her essays https://www.shesabeast.co/
I got into 35mm film photography recently. These manually focused images are not perfect but feel very real and the colours are way nicer than anything that comes out from a phone. Feels like Christmas everytime I develop a roll!
Good for you for finding a place that still develops film! What are you shooting?
I used to be into film photography for some time. About the time I met my wife, I found it harder to justify the long, late night darkroom sessions. I’m definitely in the “I shoot with the camera I have on me” set. These days, that’s my phone but the way being a photographer makes you see the world stays with you.
I'm too scared to mess something up in the darkroom so I just send my rolls to a specialist lab.
I like how it's possible to experience the technology from various decades - started with a manual Spotmatic, tried a rangefinder, a few point and shoots, then got a Yashica that offers an aperture priority mode... Now just got a Canon EOS to see where the technology was before everyone switched to digital.
That’s one thing that’s always been interesting to me about film cameras vs digital. With film, the tool (the camera itself) and the medium (the film) are separate. You could use fairly arcane tools and still get the benefit of the technical evolution of film & developer chemistries (or mix and match for specific effects). With digital, with only a few exceptions, the sensor is embedded into the camera, which means you get locked into this upgrade cycle for the whole unit.
I mostly worked with Pentax gear for 35mm but went through a medium format phase with some old, used cameras I came into. One is actually an old folding camera that belonged to my grandfather (he was a journalist). Extremely basic functionality and I still need to find a place to service the shutter mechanism but it still shoots well and kinda nice continuity to working with it.
— Music. As you can tell from the newsletter, I'm a huge music nerd and will always want to listen to new things, go to see live gigs, geek out about favourite bands. Worked in one of the UK's best record shops (Piccadilly Records) as my first gig out of university, and ignited a lifelong love of all kinds of music. Learning to play the piano now has given me a new-found appreciation of a lot of music I've long since forgotten.
— Yoga / Mindfulness. Again, no big surprise. Always looking for ways to get better in my practice, and finding the time when there are kids around.
— Videogames: I used to be a huge gamer. Up until about 18 months ago when I stopped. I have been dabbling again a little recently (a few hours spent on the new Halo) and always keeping an eye out for the game that will eventually hook me back in. I thought that might be "God of War: Ragnarok" coming later this year, but I've become enchanted by "Tunic," a Zelda-influenced game that makes me feel like I'm 9 years old and playing "A Link to the Past" for the first time.
I once shared a graduate school office with a friend who was into music, and we'd often have Daniel Lanois, Emmylou Harris, or Solomon Burke playing. Students would talk about what they were listening to, and we'd influence each other. More recently, my students either don't know what they listen to (Pandora algorithm) or don't understand the album concept. Pandora and Spotify changed that culture for good, didn't they?
Stop what you're doing and source a copy of Red Dead Redemption 2. It's such a wholesome game - great story and people have submitted screenshots of actual game play footage to local TV stations as it looks so realistic.
RDR2 didn’t do it for me. Whilst I could appreciate the beauty of the game, it felt a little too “go here, pick up this thing, shoot these people, come back, repeat ad infinitum.”
Kinda wish I could have enjoyed it more, seeing as how many people got so much out of it.
I've got heavily back into gaming since Christmas. I think that, for me, having a newborn, being locked down, I just wanted a space to escape to and be fully absorbed. I'm not trying to say that I've found enlightenment in replaying the FarCry series but I have found some moments of peace.
Outside of that it would be music but I have struggled to maintain my interest once it became clear I wasn't going to be a global megastar...I did start picking things back up, getting into digital guitar amp modelling etc, until baby #1 was born. Running was my other main thing but a busted knee has put paid to that!
My daughter is now around 4 months and the change in hobbies has been one of the biggest struggles for me. There is a ton of info out there about not losing one's self and maintaining a person-parent balance so I won't get into it (I'm sure we all have experienced walking that particular tightrope). But, nonetheless trying to find time for myself has been tough.
With our schedules I've settled on two main things: once a week I play hockey and take a singing lesson. Hockey is great because I can get a workout, have some individual social time, and it's surprisingly easy on my knees. Singing is still kind of new for me. I'm much more vulnerable doing it than playing an instrument but, based on the songs I'm working on any given week, it does give me a nice emotional outlet as well.
I'm looking forward to the days when I can spend more time on video games, board games, or maybe even community theater again.
I came here to write pretty much the same thing. I'm a serial hobbyist and it's an important part of my life. I knew going into parenthood that the loss of time was going to be one of the harder parts for me, and it has been. It didn't help that I've caught so much daycare crud this winter that running, the hobby that keeps me healthy and is easiest to fit into a busy day, has completely fallen by the wayside.
I can tell you from the far side of 9 months (which probably feels ages away to you but will arrive in a flash) that it's slow but it does improve. I'm sleeping better and have a little more energy. Naps are long enough that I can actually tackle a meaningful task with reasonable confidence that he'll stay asleep. Someday soon he'll be able to toddle around and keep himself entertained for short periods while I putter in the garden or whatever. Whenever winter finally goes away, we're going to take our first jog in the jogging stroller.
And, one thing I'm very much looking forward to as he gets older is involving him in some of my hobbies and going along for the journey on whatever hobbies he wants to get into. One of my friends does woodworking with his 5 year old daughter and it melts my heart.
Yeah, I know that feeling Ian. Your instinct is right though. Once they get a little older and you can start sharing hobbies together it can be a really magical bonding experience.
Singing lessons sounds great! Is it one on one? Or part of a group? A good friend of mine is part of a choir and that feeling of a communal coming together and signing your lungs out is very appealing.
I used to be part of a choir but haven't found one since we moved recently. I also try to act in my free time and I've been wanting to try musicals so my lessons have been one on one focusing on Broadway tunes. I'd probably join a choir again if I found one I really liked. It can be a really fun and rewarding experience.
I've gone big on gardening, or more specifically food growing, this year. I've never done it before and have become pretty consumed by the ambition to be partly self-sufficient. I don't know if the local urban wildlife will permit it but we'll see.
I started singing in choirs about 10 years ago and have just gone back to it after a pandemic/childcare singing break. We did our first performance of the year a couple of weeks ago and the sense of achievement + fun was great. As gigs have faded from my life it's nice to have another way to 'physically interact' (??) with music.
I suppose I love doing the online version of crate-digging, as I'm always looking for something new/old to listen to, but while it's amazing you can access all music ever, the fact it's all mediated through a screen somehow makes it feel less joyful. Just me?
(If you'd told 18 year-old me that I would become a gardener and chorister I would have thrown an ashtray at you.)
The music thing is so true—it sometimes feels like a fool's errand to go hunting for new music myself when the algorithms seem to be so much better now. I'm still buying vinyl records, but it tends more to be albums that I've been listening to on Spotify for a while.
I still check AnyDecentMusic and Pitchfork's Best New Music once a month though, just to see what's going on. I'd say I get most of my recommendations from those two places.
I have a few that have stuck with
Me. Football is generally always been my space, watching it rather than playing it the last 5-10 years. It takes so much time up these days but found a lot of solace in going to a live match though it is a good 4 hours outside of family life. Aside from my family I’m not sure I spend more time doing anything else other than football, reading, watching or tweeting about it.
I started to cycle using a peloton during lockdown, needed to find something that fitted into my life schedule and it’s been great for my mental health now the gym feels a little too far away. I’m a fair weather cyclist outside of peloton, so come sunshine I’ll prob get a cycle in. Just around the area but something about cycling that just is so freeing. Can’t wait to cycle with my son.
Wine. I did a WSET course in it, it’s super easy to pass but you get a basic grounding which is nice. Also something you can practice... and it’s fun.
Reading / audio - mostly on my phone these days, kindle, Substack or every newspaper you can imagine. Just can spend a good few hours, or 10 mins, reading something interesting.
Research. This is an odd one. But I just bloody love researching stuff. Like the other day, I spent maybe every hour across a weekend searching for a back pack, articles, unboxing (bagging?) anything. Same with airbnbs or hotels. Just did the same with eye creams... maybe not a hobby? But I find it quite enjoyable.
A wine course. That’s a great idea. I’m very passionate but somewhat under-informed in this area, so getting that base level of knowledge would be fun.
I actually do want to know more about eye-creams. Have been kicking around some form of a “dad skincare routine” essay for a while, seems like such a taboo subject because it’s so rarely discussed between men!
Well... I have been with Horace, for most stuff for a few years. Because it’s not too crazy cash and does everything. It’s in France but ship quickly to EU. Horace.co.
But I read that vitamin c direct is key for smoother skin. So got some Kiehl’s eye midnight eye cream and a vitamin c day eye cream. The Ordinary caffeine eye serum is also very good and cost effective. The retinol and vitamin c can cause some irritation apparently for a few weeks.
Apparently we should all be using an SPF moisturizer too. Even when it’s not sunny, so I’ve got a Anthony SPF 30 one to test on top of the Horace moisturizer.
So yeah. That was my Sunday morning.
I’m down the with the Kiehl’s Midnight too. And have an SPF daily moisturiser because life here in Spain means I’ll be looking 60 by 50 if I don’t.
Ahead of the game Kev!
Just prematurely aging maybe :)
After my son was born in 2012 I finally committed to being a writer, rather than saying I was going to be one. I've now written 3 novels and am working on my 4th, which I'm publishing on my Substack week-by-week. Somehow, having less free time after he was born made me MORE productive. Focused the mind, I think. Having a kid I found gave me an unexpected sense of mortality, too, and an impetus to *get on with things*.
Yeah that’s a strange paradox that I’ve felt after the birth of my second. Having no spare time forced me to make some big decisions about what I would and wouldn’t focus my energy on. Incredible work, by the way!
I look back on my student days of having infinite time, and achieving basically nothing, and cringe. :) It is strange how the human brain seems to need constraints in order to work efficiently!
Hobbies? As if. Sleep (or the eternal pursuit of it) seems the only available pastime. As a father of a 4.5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl, there is no time for anything really. Assume this improves
It gets better! At least, it must, right? In all seriousness, once they both get over 4 life gets a little more manageable.
I hope so! Better buckle in for the next three years then. Hopefully I'll still remember my name and have friends left ;)
Thank you for the repl6, Kevin
Great topic. Although I haven't gotten to get out there as much over the past few weeks for a variety of reasons, I run and play tennis. Has been weeks since I hit the courts but I usually play once a week and will do again from next week. Running has taken a back seat for the past couple of weeks but again, going to get out into the fresh air later today or tomorrow! It always feels so good within minutes of hitting the tarmac :)
Then, I work on a variety of side projects which are technically work but don't feel like it! In fact, I really enjoy working so it doesn't matter either way. I am the co-founder of a productivity app for groups and individuals, run 5 different content websites, and also do some coaching here and there. Not the usual stuff, but all based around a new / old understanding of how we tick. Hope to do more over the next while, especially with men who we know are slower to look for support.
Also spotted someone mentioning gardening, and while out watering some plants in the cool sunshine earlier I had the idea of planting some seeds in the sunniest part of the garden. So I'm going to look into that :)
Keeping busy! Have started getting more interested in gardening since lockdown, or at least houseplants, which is the best we can manage living in the centre of a city. Loads of great communal gardens around at least.
Yeah there is something really nice and peaceful about watering plants and being outside among the greenery, however that looks :)
I'm chipping away at a novel I doubt will ever be finished. Any other writers in the mix?
Right over here! 2 novels down, still querying for representation. Whoever mentioned the fact that less time = more productive is 100 percent on the money.
Substack and fatherhood have re-ignited the writer in me. I 'quit' a few years ago, wanting to use that creative energy to earn actual money, and here's an opportunity to eventually do both.
*waves* There's always a lurking writer somewhere nearby.
There’s always a TNF book idea on the backburner, but the daily newsletter tends to take preference …
I make (mostly very short) tabletop roleplaying games after my four-year-old goes to bed at night. I feel extremely lucky that my she is so excited to playtest them with me. She changes the rules whenever she feels like it, of course, but that's probably valuable design feedback in its own way.
She’s keeping you on your toes! There’s a couple of D&D DMs in the mix here, it’s not something I fell into in my youth but have always seen the appeal.
Is Disney a hobby? We live in Orange County, CA and are Disneyland pass holders. We take our kids as often as time will allow, and it’s safe to say that there’s a Disney core memory (to use Inside Out parlance) in every person in the family!
Inside Out was, is, and will always be one of my favourites. It gave me an my eldest a whole vocabulary to talk about her feelings when she was younger (that we still use today.)
I have been into pop up cards/books for some time, but now im trying to learn more profesional mechanisms. I love creating something unique for special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries). It doesnt take lots of time, but people really love getting them!
Fantastic. Is there anywhere to see them? What a thoughtful gift to give.
Thank you! As dumb as it sounds, I never though of taking pictures of the cards!!!
I took 2 quick pics of the ones I could find. These are very simple cards!:
https://bit.ly/35ZtMBa - A videogames themed card.
https://bit.ly/38s08oQ - A minecraft themed card.
I think the value is on matching the card to your kid/partner current interests =)
I think your links are the wrong way round. But they’re both excellent. Love the Super Mario one!
My first thought when I read this was, what the hell is a leisurely pursuit? that sounds fantastic!
Much of what I do for fun transforms into work, or maybe how I engage with supposedly fun things so closely resembles work that I don't register the difference. I realize this may be a sign that I take myself altogether far too seriously.
On a deeper level, I resonate with Joshua's perspective on ritual.
Spinning fire has been a meditation/ritual for me for many years. I hesitate to call it a hobby, but it is, quite fun.
In a way that’s what happened here with TNF. It started off as a small experiment and now takes up an increasing amount of headspace.
As predictable as it is for a middle aged dad, I’ve gotten really into golf. It’s good exercise, I can hang out with friends in the sunshine, be moderately athletic and walk a few miles while doing so.
“A good walk ruined,” wasn’t that the phrase? But I can see the appeal. My golfing experience only extends as far as long nights playing Tiger Woods on the original Xbox.
Lately, I’ve been leaning into cooking. My primary non-child related accomplishment while being on paternity leave has been perfecting a (American) biscuit recipe. I’ve also been into gardening though I’m late getting my seedlings going this year.
Becoming a father has definitely disrupted the hobby situation though I’m starting to put things back together. I’ve been into martial arts and meditation for a long time. Hiking, which we are doing more of as a way to get the baby and dog (and us) out. I used to ride my bike quite a bit around the city here.
I also have a fairly strong DIY tendency that runs through everything. Part of my enjoyment around riding my bike is that I built it. :)
Nice mix Jim. Daily meditation habit has been a huge part of my life for the last few years.
If it's not too obnoxious to share my own newsletter, I wrote about this on Tuesday (https://joshuadolezal.substack.com/p/rituals-as-recovery?s=w), reflecting on the difference between hobbies and rituals. I'm more of a ritual person, and I have a lot of them: bread baking, kombucha, canning (salsa, hot sauce, and more), maple syruping, running, songwriting... I think of a ritual as something that I do habitually and that connects me to others, to a place, or more deeply to myself. But that might be my academic tendency to over-analyze showing itself!
Love this! Not too obnoxious at all and a really interesting perspective.
Recently I've started weightlifting (which is really not something I ever thought I'd do, lol) mostly because a friend needed a lifting buddy. I'm not trying to go crazy with it, but I'm four months in and really enjoying the extra energy in my body. I also stay home with my two year-old daughter a couple days a week, so having gym time gives things a nice balance.
Also, I've started reading newsletters on Substack and Ghost, and I feel like the internet is interesting again! I'm really enjoying The New Fatherhood (thanks Kevin, it really does make my day) as well as other smart and thought-provoking sites like Astral Codex Ten (https://astralcodexten.substack.com), Slow Boring (https://www.slowboring.com), and a new favorite, Cold Takes (https://www.cold-takes.com). It's like squats for the mind ;).
Squats for the brain and squats for the glutes. Great combination. And thanks for the kind words.
Weightlifting feels like something I'd get very into if I got started.
I can suggest a combination of your two interests—a Substack for weightlifters! It's female focused but Casey is a fantastic writer and I've really loved some of her essays https://www.shesabeast.co/
Haha thanks for the great recommendation! Sometimes the Universe just brings it all together for you!
Ain't that the truth.
I got into 35mm film photography recently. These manually focused images are not perfect but feel very real and the colours are way nicer than anything that comes out from a phone. Feels like Christmas everytime I develop a roll!
Good for you for finding a place that still develops film! What are you shooting?
I used to be into film photography for some time. About the time I met my wife, I found it harder to justify the long, late night darkroom sessions. I’m definitely in the “I shoot with the camera I have on me” set. These days, that’s my phone but the way being a photographer makes you see the world stays with you.
I'm too scared to mess something up in the darkroom so I just send my rolls to a specialist lab.
I like how it's possible to experience the technology from various decades - started with a manual Spotmatic, tried a rangefinder, a few point and shoots, then got a Yashica that offers an aperture priority mode... Now just got a Canon EOS to see where the technology was before everyone switched to digital.
That’s one thing that’s always been interesting to me about film cameras vs digital. With film, the tool (the camera itself) and the medium (the film) are separate. You could use fairly arcane tools and still get the benefit of the technical evolution of film & developer chemistries (or mix and match for specific effects). With digital, with only a few exceptions, the sensor is embedded into the camera, which means you get locked into this upgrade cycle for the whole unit.
I mostly worked with Pentax gear for 35mm but went through a medium format phase with some old, used cameras I came into. One is actually an old folding camera that belonged to my grandfather (he was a journalist). Extremely basic functionality and I still need to find a place to service the shutter mechanism but it still shoots well and kinda nice continuity to working with it.
Three big ones for me:
— Music. As you can tell from the newsletter, I'm a huge music nerd and will always want to listen to new things, go to see live gigs, geek out about favourite bands. Worked in one of the UK's best record shops (Piccadilly Records) as my first gig out of university, and ignited a lifelong love of all kinds of music. Learning to play the piano now has given me a new-found appreciation of a lot of music I've long since forgotten.
— Yoga / Mindfulness. Again, no big surprise. Always looking for ways to get better in my practice, and finding the time when there are kids around.
— Videogames: I used to be a huge gamer. Up until about 18 months ago when I stopped. I have been dabbling again a little recently (a few hours spent on the new Halo) and always keeping an eye out for the game that will eventually hook me back in. I thought that might be "God of War: Ragnarok" coming later this year, but I've become enchanted by "Tunic," a Zelda-influenced game that makes me feel like I'm 9 years old and playing "A Link to the Past" for the first time.
I once shared a graduate school office with a friend who was into music, and we'd often have Daniel Lanois, Emmylou Harris, or Solomon Burke playing. Students would talk about what they were listening to, and we'd influence each other. More recently, my students either don't know what they listen to (Pandora algorithm) or don't understand the album concept. Pandora and Spotify changed that culture for good, didn't they?
Stop what you're doing and source a copy of Red Dead Redemption 2. It's such a wholesome game - great story and people have submitted screenshots of actual game play footage to local TV stations as it looks so realistic.
RDR2 didn’t do it for me. Whilst I could appreciate the beauty of the game, it felt a little too “go here, pick up this thing, shoot these people, come back, repeat ad infinitum.”
Kinda wish I could have enjoyed it more, seeing as how many people got so much out of it.
I've got heavily back into gaming since Christmas. I think that, for me, having a newborn, being locked down, I just wanted a space to escape to and be fully absorbed. I'm not trying to say that I've found enlightenment in replaying the FarCry series but I have found some moments of peace.
Outside of that it would be music but I have struggled to maintain my interest once it became clear I wasn't going to be a global megastar...I did start picking things back up, getting into digital guitar amp modelling etc, until baby #1 was born. Running was my other main thing but a busted knee has put paid to that!