I remember your BFF blog from the glory days of Hype Machine! What a time! Also that buttoned white tshirt in the Sri Lanka photo dates it hugely 😅 Great work with the clobber
hey Kevin I am new here and LOVE what you are up to. Have recently started my own substack a couple of weeks ago. My deal in a nutshell. Father of Kerry 29 (sober 5 years thank GOD, about to graduate Georgetown law at the top of her class after nearly dying repeatedly of drug overdoses up until 23), Seamus 27 (Army Ranger), Cole 18 (rower headed off to row at Brown University in the fall).
I got kicked out of the house for being a drunk and a cheat when Seamus was 6 months and Kerry was 2. At the time I was the CFO of a big media company and a complete ass. My ex-wife (Collen who happens to be Irish) forced me to get sober to see my kids. I did not get to see my kids for Christmas in 1996. But on December 28 of that year, I walked into a meeting and have been sober ever since.
Feeding my son Seamus a bottle on his first overnight visit at my bachelor pad was a spiritual awakening for me. The smell of him, the feeling of his heart against mine, the song of him sucking and then snoring. His body going limp in my arms. I looked down and realized all the drinking, the womanizing, and the professional "success" did not mean shit compared to this kid and his sister. I committed myself to be the best father I could be at that moment. Ahead of all else. And I have done so, however imperfectly, for 26 years now.
For the first 6 years, I was a single dad (any man who has tried to chase two toddlers around by himself for long stretches knows what that is like). Then I got remarried 6 years sober. Had another son.
I had blown everything up but my career. I was very successful. And that went to my head. I lost track of myself. Or maybe I never had track of myself. Anyhow 20 years sober I realized that emotionally and spiritually I had built a house of cards. I lost my mind. I had a definite plan to kill myself. I told my sister who is a therapist and she immediately walked me to the ER. I spent the next two months in two different mental hospitals.
I emerged no longer suicidal but deeply broken. I had to dig in and do the hard work of getting down to the causes and conditions. That was five years ago almost to the and I am happier than I have ever been in my life now. I dug deep, made amends, and realize that my calling in life is to help other men. First to get sober and then more generally. I work with a ton of dads but am also really focussed on men 18-24 who have the fastest growth in suicide in our country and who do most all the horrific violence. All my business success never made me happy. But seeing the light go on in the eyes of a man who was formerly hopeless never ever gets old.
Please let me know how I can be of service to you and your group. It sounds like you are doing amazing things for dads, and dads suffering from mental health issues like I did (and do).
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing.
I remember your BFF blog from the glory days of Hype Machine! What a time! Also that buttoned white tshirt in the Sri Lanka photo dates it hugely 😅 Great work with the clobber
That blue hat, those socks, that sun shirt thing!!
Love this. Definitely going to pick up a few pieces and spread the word.
These shirts are amazing! Congratulations on reaching 10,000!
I'm going to share this with my dads group.
Also, I'm just going to leave this here: https://youtu.be/pfltmHtqdzM
😁
hey Kevin I am new here and LOVE what you are up to. Have recently started my own substack a couple of weeks ago. My deal in a nutshell. Father of Kerry 29 (sober 5 years thank GOD, about to graduate Georgetown law at the top of her class after nearly dying repeatedly of drug overdoses up until 23), Seamus 27 (Army Ranger), Cole 18 (rower headed off to row at Brown University in the fall).
I got kicked out of the house for being a drunk and a cheat when Seamus was 6 months and Kerry was 2. At the time I was the CFO of a big media company and a complete ass. My ex-wife (Collen who happens to be Irish) forced me to get sober to see my kids. I did not get to see my kids for Christmas in 1996. But on December 28 of that year, I walked into a meeting and have been sober ever since.
Feeding my son Seamus a bottle on his first overnight visit at my bachelor pad was a spiritual awakening for me. The smell of him, the feeling of his heart against mine, the song of him sucking and then snoring. His body going limp in my arms. I looked down and realized all the drinking, the womanizing, and the professional "success" did not mean shit compared to this kid and his sister. I committed myself to be the best father I could be at that moment. Ahead of all else. And I have done so, however imperfectly, for 26 years now.
For the first 6 years, I was a single dad (any man who has tried to chase two toddlers around by himself for long stretches knows what that is like). Then I got remarried 6 years sober. Had another son.
I had blown everything up but my career. I was very successful. And that went to my head. I lost track of myself. Or maybe I never had track of myself. Anyhow 20 years sober I realized that emotionally and spiritually I had built a house of cards. I lost my mind. I had a definite plan to kill myself. I told my sister who is a therapist and she immediately walked me to the ER. I spent the next two months in two different mental hospitals.
I emerged no longer suicidal but deeply broken. I had to dig in and do the hard work of getting down to the causes and conditions. That was five years ago almost to the and I am happier than I have ever been in my life now. I dug deep, made amends, and realize that my calling in life is to help other men. First to get sober and then more generally. I work with a ton of dads but am also really focussed on men 18-24 who have the fastest growth in suicide in our country and who do most all the horrific violence. All my business success never made me happy. But seeing the light go on in the eyes of a man who was formerly hopeless never ever gets old.
Please let me know how I can be of service to you and your group. It sounds like you are doing amazing things for dads, and dads suffering from mental health issues like I did (and do).
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing.