Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULL ME BACK IN
I'm late to this one, but just wanted to say that The Going to Bed Book rules (along with all Sandra Boynton) rules. We rock and rock and rock to sleep even when we don't read the book. And to say that if I had half a billion, I'd be the world's most present stay-at-home dad lol
I love your Substack, Kevin. It’s made a huge difference in my life as I became a dad three years ago and had a second this summer--particularly as I fell into depression after the second, much as you vulnerably described.
If I can offer feedback it would be simply this: it’s important to speak from your personal experience, but even as you do so try not to allow your career path and tech culture immersion to stand in as norms. Fuck you money isn’t increasingly attainable--data would say the opposite. Most dads are saddled with huge debt and struggling to help, and even take on the lions share, while under a financial burden that makes dual fulltime incomes required. I actually like the lead off story for how it shows a limit situation in which still committing fully at home is so existentially difficult even when money isn’t a problem, but as some of the direction you took it was pretty unrelatable. Maybe you know the data on your subscribers and they are largely tech folks, but most dads aren’t. Nor are most dads in the PMC.
All that said I deeply appreciate your work. Stay with it.
I'm definitely going to start referring to family time as "working on my new startup" in conversation, ha. Thought that was humorous. But I believe he made the right call, your child is only born once. As you've laid out here, dollar Tech CEO positions are less rare than your children's childhood.
I wonder what it would be like if we started seeing raising the kids as a once in a lifetime opportunity, more once and a lifetime than any other. After all, they only get one childhood.
Then of course there’s the spinoff thought about many of us never having our childhood which is why I see healing the psyche as a key component of the manhood journey.
I can’t help but think that we don’t see the first because of the second.